World of Sweets
by rangergirl1234
Summary: Ranger finally realizes his feelings for Stephanie after Stephanie is diagnosed with an illness.
1. Chapter 1

Not my characters. Thanks to Janet Evanovich for creating such loveable characters.  
I had this idea since Stephanie loves her sweets so much! Let me know if you'd like to see it continue.

The day began like any other. I had gotten up early, at the crack of dawn, well, not really. But 8am is early enough for any living thing to be up and at 'em. I'd been feeling really sluggish lately, but just chalked it up to my busy life. Joe and I have permanently broken up and we finally realized that we were better as friends than lovers. We've been apart for about 6 months, and during that time, Ranger and I have dated. We never spoke the words that we would be exculsive, but I guess it was an unspoken understanding. He's been in the wind a couple of times, but when he's here we go out on dates. I'm working fulltime for Rangeman but I'm still picking up some low level skips. Lula still helps me, and when she can't, I usually borrow a Merry Man.

Ranger and I have been spending a lot of time together. I gave up my sorry excuse for an apartment when I went to work at Rangeman. I figure that it was wasted money since an apartment came with my full time job. Plus, it puts me closer to the guys at work. They're all like family. Except Ranger. The electricity I have with Ranger is anything but familial. Sometimes Ranger brings dinner down to my apartment on four, or invites me up to seven. We've become even better friends, and I feel like the path to us becoming lovers is going to be a destination very soon. We're trying to take things slow. Especially since his life doesn't lend itself to relationships-according to him. But I think slowly but surely he's realizing that maybe, just maybe, if anyone can handle being in a relationship with him, it's me. Our stolen kisses and heavy petting are quickly becoming unbearable, and if he doesn't make a move soon, I think I'm going to explode. Plus, there's no shower massager in my Rangeman apartment. Just my luck.

Anyway, getting back to this morning. I woke up and felt like death on a cracker. Plus I was thirsty as the Sahara desert. I guzzled down two bottles of water and took a quick shower. I'd been battling a sinus infection, and had ran a fever for a couple of days. I was trying to work even though I was sick, and I had a feeling it was catching up with me. I pulled myself from the bed, and got ready, dressing in the standard Rangeman black, and stopped by the control room. Turns out, Hal was on monitor duty.

"Hey Hal. How goes it?"

"Hey Bomber. It's going good. How you doing today?"

"Uggh. I still feel like crap. My sinuses are killing me and I can't seem to get over this fever."

Just as the words were out of my mouth, Ranger walked up. He put his arm around my waist and pulled me into him slightly, sniffing my hair. "Mmmm. You smell good Babe. What's this about you not feeling well today?"

"Hey Ranger. I don't know. I just haven't been myself lately. I'm tired all the time, and I have no energy. Plus I've got a fever and my sinuses are killing me."

"Babe, why don't you let me get Bobby to take a quick look at you. It won't take long, and I know how you hate hospitals and doctors."

"Thanks Ranger. Maybe later if I'm not feeling better. Hopefully it's just a bug."

Ranger cocked an eyebrow up in my direction but eventually sighed. It's hard to believe Batman sighs. Finally he relented. "Ok Babe. I can't make you do it. But tell me, what's on your plate for today?"

"I'm going to run by the Bonds office to pickup our FTA's and then I'll be back to do searches. Rodriguez has my inbox full again. I swear he lives to torment me."

Ranger chuckled and gave me a quick peck on the cheek. "Take it easy Babe. If you're back in time, let's go to Pinos for lunch."

"You got it!"

I left and hopped into my new Ford Flex SUV. It was all shiny and new and black. Besides the color, it wasn't the ordinary Rangeman vehicle, but it was a perfect fit for me. Kinda unusual, but comfy. And there was enough leg room for any of the hulking Merry Men that accompanied me on any given day, plus room in the backseat for FTA's. Ranger had it customized with tinted windows, and a sound system. He also had floor bolts installed for chaining up unruly FTA's and I'm sure it was lowjacked with more trackers than I could count. The vehicle was yet another perk for working here. I'd fought it for several weeks, but eventually gave up when Ranger pointed out that I was the only employee that didn't have a work vehicle, and that it was company policy. I told him he was taking his insurance rates into his own hands, but he assured me that he could handle it. Ranger wanted to get me a Porsche since I was practically in love with his, but I couldn't justify the cost when you consider how often my cars have a tendancy to go to car heaven.

I motored off to the Bonds office, stopping by the Tasty Pastry to pick up two dozen donuts. When I walked into the office, Lula and Connie attacked me and were on the pastries like vultures on road kill. I escaped without too much injury and grabbed three of the donuts for myself. We gabbed and talked as we usually did, and I finally got my folders and started to leave. I grabbed another two donuts, and scarfed them down while making my way to the door. A wave of nausea crept over me as I started to open the door and I swayed as the room began to spin.

"White girl, are you ok? Hold up! Sit down here! Connie, get her some water."

"I'm ok Lula. I just got hot and nauseated all of a sudden. I haven't been myself lately. I'll be fine. I just need to get back to the office."

"Girl, you ain't going no where. You're in no condition to be driving. Look how you're shaking. You look like a leaf on a tree! Let me give Ranger a call."

"No! I'm ok. I don't want to bother him. I'll be ok."

I started to stand up again and slumped against the wall. Lula grabbed me. "Connie, she's burning up with fever! Call Ranger quick!"

Connie picked up the phone to call Ranger, and I mumbled "Really, Lula. I'm …I'm ok I think. I don't feel so well though."

Lula was holding some water for me to drink, and I pushed it away. "I can't Lula. I think…I'm gonna be sick!"

Lula grabbed a trash can and I threw up in it several times. Connie came over with a wet papertowel, and wiped my face. "Ranger's on the way with Bobby honey. Just hold on 'til they get here."

I heard her talking but the words weren't registering. Everything seemed so jumbled. I could see her lips moving, but nothing was making sense. I slowly saw the edges of my vision creep away, and blackness filled my sight as I succumbed to the darkness and passed out.


	2. Chapter 2

_Usual Disclaimer:_

Not my characters. Thanks to Janet Evanovich for creating such loveable characters.  
I had this idea since Stephanie loves her sweets so much! I guess I'm giving too much away, but anyway. Let me know if you'd like to see it continue.

_Previously:_

_Lula grabbed a trash can and I threw up in it several times. Connie came over with a wet papertowel, and wiped my face. "Ranger's on the way with Bobby honey. Just hold on 'til they get here."_

_I heard her talking but the words weren't registering. Everything seemed so jumbled. I could see her lips moving, but nothing was making sense. I slowly saw the edges of my vision creep away, and blackness filled my sight as I succumbed to the darkness and passed out._

Ranger's POV:

I knew something was up when Connie called my cell phone. If there was an issue with an FTA, she would have called the office line. She told me that I needed to get to the Bond's office quickly, and to bring Bobby.

"What's wrong Connie?"

"Ranger, get here quick. Steph's really sick."

"On my way!"

I grabbed my keys and ran to the stairwell, yelling over my shoulder for Bobby to follow me and bring his medic kit. Tank followed since I was tearing out of the office like a bat out of hell. Tank yelled "I'll drive" and we all jumped into the Hummer.

"Where to?"

"Bond's office. Steph's sick. Connie called." Those six words were all it took for Bobby and Tank to both know how serious the situation must be. Stephanie hated doctors, and would work sick as a dog. Rarely did she admit to even being sick. I knew I shouldn't have let her being seen by Bobby slide this morning. Bobby spoke up, interrupting my thoughts.

"Boss, any idea what's wrong?"

"All I know is she said she felt tired. She's been running a fever for a couple of days. I tried to get her to come see you this morning. I should have made her…."

Tank interrupted. "Ranger, you know you can't make Bombshell do anything. She'll be fine. I'm surprised she let Connie call."

"I'm sure she didn't let her. It must be pretty bad if Connie was able to call with Steph there."

Tank interrupted me. "Let's not jump to conclusions until we get there."

As we were pulling in, I jumped out of the Hummer and ran into the office. Steph was lying out on the floor and looked pale and lifeless. I grabbed her hand, and stroked her cheek. I patted her cheek, and spoke softly to her. "Steph, Babe, come on. Wake up. I need you to wake up and look at me."

Bobbie spoke to Lula, who was holding her hand on the other side. "What happened?"

"White girl came in and brought donuts. She talked for about 30 minutes and got her files, along with those for Rangeman. She was real shakey. She started to leave and got sick. She threw up a couple of times, and when I helped her sit down, I noticed she felt hot like she had a fever. I helped her over to the couch and she didn't want us to call you. Said she didn't want to be a bother. She tried to drink some water, and then threw up again. Then she passed out. She's been out cold for about 10 minutes."

Bobby looked into her eyes with a pen light, and took her blood pressure. He listened to her heart and lungs, and started pulling out more supplies. "Connie, call 911 and have an ambulance sent."

I looked up at Bobby. "What is it man? What do you think is wrong?"

"I don't know yet Ranger. It could be anything, but she's burning up with fever. We've got to get her to the hospital. I'm going to check her blood sugar. That's about all I can do here in the field, until we get her to the hospital.

Bobby took out a small machine, and pricked Steph's finger. She didn't budge or even move. After about 10 seconds, Bobby drew in a sharp breath. "Shit!"

"What is it Bobby? What's wrong?"

"Her blood sugar is 652. She's probably having a diabetic crisis. This is life threatening. Connie, call dispatch back and tell them to relay to the bus on the way that her blood sugar is 652. Tell them to hurry."

As Bobby barked orders, Stephanie began to thrash violently. Bobby grabbed a couple of pillows from the couch in the office. "Here, Ranger. Help me put these under her head so she doesn't hurt herself. She's seizing!"

We heard the sound of sirens quickly approaching, and Lula went out to meet the EMS workers. Stephanie finally stopped thrashing and Bobby took the opportunity to start and IV. "Ranger, hold this bag up so that we can get some fluids in her. We don't have any time to waste."

I did as Bobby asked, and Tank helped the EMS workers bring in a stretcher for Steph. We gently lifted her onto the stretcher, and Bobby quickly gave a run down of what was going on to the workers. Bobby jumped up into the ambulance with Steph, and I started to jump up into the bus as well. One of the workers stopped me, saying only one person could accompany her. "Sorry, man. I'm going. Deal with it." He looked into my face, and finally relented, telling me to stay out of the way.

I sat beside her as we sped to the hospital with Tank, Lula, and Connie in the Hummer following close behind us. I listened as monitors beeped and Bobby and the EMS guy worked furiously on Steph, inserting more IV lines and putting her on oxygen. When we got to the hospital, Stephanie was quickly unloaded and rushed to one of the empty rooms in the ER. I was quickly pushed aside by the medical workers, and Tank stood with me outside of the room. For the first time in a very long time, I felt helpless. Stephanie was sick and there was absolutely nothing that I could do about it. I'd always been her knight. If a car blew up, I gave her one to use. Hell, I'd give her all of the ones I owned! If she needed money, I gave her a job. She was too proud to take money. So I did what I knew she would allow. Her apartment was a joke, so I helped her move into Haywood. But yet, here I stand in the hallway, and for the life of me, I can't remember ever having felt so useless in all my days.

I slid down the wall, and put my elbows on my knees, while running my fingers through my hair. Tank clapped me on the shoulder, and bent down to talk to me. "She's gonna be ok man. They'll make her better. They have to. This is Bomber after all. She's a tough chick."

"Tank, I can't lose her. I've never told her how I feel. What if she never knows? Bobby said this is life threatening."

"Come on Ranger. Don't think like that. Let's just wait and see what the doctors have to say." He took a deep breath. "But when she recovers, and believe me, she will. She has to. When she recovers, I trust that you're gonna pull your head outta your ass and tell that girl what she means to you. Ya'll have been cattin' around each other for long enough. If you don't, one day something really bad is going to happen, and both of you will regret not having been honest with each other. I love you as my brother Ranger, but I'm gonna tell you…I was scared today. Bomber means a lot to all of us. I was scared she was gonna die. And you love her. You need to tell her that. Stop with all the 'my life is dangerous' shit. Life's too short to live the way you've been living. She deserves more. And you need to be the one to give it to her. Let this be your wake up call. I know you love her, man. It was written all over your face when you saw her lying there on the floor in the Bonds office. You can try to deny it. But I saw it with my own two eyes. And if you don't hurry up and do something about it, I just might have to hurt you myself! There's at least ten other guys ready and willing to step up to the plate if you don't get your act together. And one of them just might be me if you don't quit shittin' around."

I wasn't sure how to respond. Tank had never talked so directly to me. No one ever called me out like this. But I deserved it. And he knew it. I simply nodded my head, and closed my eyes. He was right. I had to do something or I would possibly lose her forever. I don't know why I had sent her back to Morelli in the past. It killed me when she left. But I should have fought for her. I should have made her want to stay. And it would kill me to lose her to one of my own men. I was still on contract with the government, but I wasn't planning on resigning next year when my contract expired. I had planned on talking to her when that happened. I was counting down the days. 10 months. That's how long I had left before I was a free man. But after seeing her today in the Bond's office like that, 10 months is too long to wait. I let my thoughts take me away for a little while, and eventually I realized we had sat there for two hours. Bobby stepped out into the hall. I was immediately at his side.

"She's stable now. They've administered some insulin to start bringing her blood sugar levels down. The physician on call said that she's probably an undiagnosed diabetic. When she got sick with this bug, and started running a fever, it made her blood sugars sky rocket. If she had been alone when this happened, she would probably be dead right now. I don't mean to scare you unduly, but this is serious Ranger. She's going to have to make some serious lifestyle adjustments. Depending on what her levels look like after she gets settled, she may be on injections for the rest of her life. She's going to have to change her whole way of eating and her way of living. She's going to have to take care of herself, or this will happen again. She will most likely be here a week _at minimum_."

All of this was too much to take in. My Babe? Diabetic? She's only 30! I knew about diabetes because my Abuela is diabetic. She controls her blood sugars by diet and medication. I know that I have a family predisposition to diabetes. So it helps that I watch what I eat and exercise regularly. I've always told Steph that what she ate was gonna kill her. It was a long running joke between us. I never for once thought that this would happen. "Bobby, she had a physical when she came to work for Rangeman? Why wasn't this caught then?"

"Depending on what she had eaten, and what her levels were running that day, it's possible her blood sugar was normal at the time. Plus, she's been sick. Any illness can and usually does affect blood sugars. With her being relatively healthy, she may only need to be on medication for a while. After that she might be able to control it with diet and exercise. But if her blood sugars remain unstable, she'll have to do daily injections. Or they may give her the option of having an insulin pump implanted. That may or may not be a good idea."

"What do you mean Bobby?"

"Well, for starters, it is an external pump that has tubing that is implanted directly into the skin. It's convenient because the user doesn't have to inject themselves daily. And it keeps blood sugar at a constant level. She'd still have to test daily, maybe several times a day. It can be removed for showers, bathing, and other activities, but if it became disconnected during her sleep, well…I've heard of cases where the person went into a coma overnight because the pump became dislodged during the night. It's rare, but we all know how Bombshell thrashes around while she's asleep. Regardless, we're probably jumping the gun and it coming lose is a rare thing. But you know how rare things tend to happen to Bombshell. Right now, all we can do is wait and watch and hope her numbers continue to come down."

"Bobby, will she be ok? Can I see her?"

"I think she'll feel like crap for a few days. Blood sugars as high as Steph's affect all of the body systems. She could have had a stroke or heart attack. The seizure probably wiped her out and she'll most likely feel exhausted. She won't like having to stay here. And she's gonna hit the roof when she finds out that she will have to check her blood sugar daily. But I think she's going to make a full recovery, if she takes care of herself. We're all going to have to support her on this. You know what she's like off of sugar. They're finishing up in there, so I'll see if you can sit with her until a room is ready for her." Bobby paused and took a deep breath and then put his hand on my shoulder. "Ranger, she was lucky today. Damn lucky. We all were. It could have been so much worse. If she had been alone when this happened…well I don't even want to go there. Please don't ignore how serious this was today. She had a effin' seizure for Christ sake! I mean it. You have to make her understand how serious this is."

I nodded and Bobby went back inside the room, quickly returning to usher me in. Stephanie turned and looked at me, looking pale and scared. I immediately went to her and took her hand in mine, kissing it and finally kissing her on the lips. Her voice sounded small and weak when she spoke.

"Hey Ranger. I'm sorry they called you and you had to come down to the office. I didn't mean for all this to happen. I didn't mean to inconvenience you."

"Babe! Stop it. You are not an inconvenience! Besides, there's no where I'd rather be than here taking care of you. You really had me scared there. I thought…when I walked into the office…" my voice drifted off. Quietly, I continued. "Well…I've never been that scared in my life."

I intertwined our fingers and laid my head down at her side. I drew in a deep breath and sat there, holding one hand while my other arm was draped lightly over her waist. She used her other hand to run her fingers through my hair. "Ranger, are you ok?"

"I am now Babe. You have no idea how lost I would be without you. You have to promise me something. Will you do that? Will you make me a promise here and now?"

I looked up and I'm sure Stephanie saw the hint of moisture in my eyes that I was furiously trying to control. My emotions felt too heavy on my heart, and I felt like I was going to bubble over like an idiot right here in front of the one person in the world that means the most to me. I felt the tale tell stinging behind my eyes that meant that tears were forming. I wouldn't cry in front of her. I hadn't cried in at least twenty years.

"Anything Ranger. What's wrong?"

"Promise me Babe. Promise me that you will let me help you get better. Promise me you are going to try to get your blood sugar under control. I mean it Stephanie. Bobby said this is serious. You had a seizure in the office. I was so scared. I thought I'd lost you."

"Ranger I promise I'll do whatever they tell me to do. I know it won't be easy, but I already got my ass chewed out once I came to by Bobby and the ER doc as soon as I came to. Supposedly 5 donuts for breakfast isn't the perfect way to start the day when you are a diabetic."

Stephanie was trying to lighten the mood of the situation, but I was having none of it. "Babe, did you know you were a diabetic? Did you have any idea?"

"No. I've been very thirsty lately. They told me that's a signature symptom. From what they tell me, my being sick might have had something to do with the spike. Although I'm sure it wasn't the only reason. But they scared me enough to make me realize I've got to do better. I've got to do something. The ER doc talked about consequences down the road from high blood sugars; like trouble healing, heart attacks, strokes, limb amputation! It was scary! When he asked what I ate for breakfast and I told him 5 boston crèmes, I thought he was gonna use Bobby's gun to shoot me! I was scared."

"It is scary Babe. But a lot of people are able to control their diabetes with diet and exercise. My Abuela does."

"Your grandmother is a diabetic?"

"Yep. Along with one of my sisters. Maybe we can go visit them and you can talk with them when you get out. They've both lived with it for a long time, and probably have some helpful ideas that will make it easier on you."

"You'd take me to visit them? Your family?"

"Babe, I think it's past time that you visit my family and get to know them."

"I don't understand Ranger. What…what do you mean?"

"I mean Babe that I was scared out of my livid mind today. I don't do scared. It's an emotion I am not used to feeling. But today when I saw you I realized that I had to tell you how I feel. I love you. I want…no, I need for you to know that."

Stephanie immediately took a deep breath as tears started flowing down her face.

"Babe, are you ok?"

"Ranger, if I knew that all it took for you to realize your feelings for me was a diabetic coma, I would have tried to have one before now." She smiled as she said it, and put her hand to my face. "But seriously, I love you too. I always have. Since that first day in the diner. But we have to be honest with each other. I don't want you running away just because you think your life is dangerous. Ranger, I want a future with you. So unless you're all in, I'm giving you your chance now to take back what you just said."

"Babe I won't take it back. I love you. We're in this for the long haul. I'm playing for forever. For keeps."

I kissed her with all the passion and love that I could and pulled her into my arms. Bobby and Tank walked in and we heard someone clearing their throat. " About damn time!"

Stephanie pulled back and giggled, and I ran my fingers through her hair. Finally I turned my attention to Tank and Bobby and sat on the edge of the bed, pulling Stephanie into my arms.

"Stephanie," Bobby spoke, "Looks like they finally have a room ready for you. You'll have to stay here for about four or five days, and then I'll take over your care at Rangeman. Until we get your blood sugars stabilized and under control, I'd rather you not stay by yourself. We'll be checking your blood sugar several times a day. And depending on how you do, we may have to do injections until you're stabilized. There's a possibility that you'll have to remain on them. Before you leave, there's a new patient education class that you'll attend. That way, you'll learn all about the disease and how to recognize symptoms before they escalate to what happened today."

Stephanie sighed and nodded. "I got it Bobby. Whatever you say, I'll do it. I'm too scared to not do it."

"Good. I'll go get the nurse so we can get you settled in your room upstairs."

As Bobby left, Tank pulled up a chair in the small room and I took Steph's hand again. "Babe, I'd like you to consider moving up to seven with me. I'm not asking you because you're sick. I'm asking because I love you and want to be near you. I want you near me."

Stephanie looked from me to Tank, then back to me. "Are you serious?"

Tank chuckled and spoke up. "Little girl, I can tell you that he's serious. I've never seen him almost lose it the way he did today. He's going to be hell to be around if you won't move in. Write each other a letter, check the box yes or no, hell, do whatever you have to do. But I'm telling you like I told him. Get your head outta your ass and get it together. You both love each other. And today could have been so much worse. You've been given a second chance. Don't screw it up."

And with that Tank stood up, kissed Stephanie lightly on the top of the head, and walked out.

Stephanie looked flabbergasted, with her mouth hanging open.

"So what do you say Babe? Will you do me the honor of moving in? Do I need to write it out so you can check yes or no?"

Stephanie finally found her voice and took my hand. "Yes Ranger. My home is where you are. I'll move in as soon as I'm discharged."

"Don't worry about your things Babe. I'll have Ella, Louise, and some of the guys move things so that it'll be all ready for you when you get to go home."

Bobby and the nurse finally came in with Steph's chart, and they pushed her bed to the third floor of the hospital with me following closely behind like a love sick puppy.


	3. Chapter 3

_They belong to JE. I'm just enjoying them for a while._

_Previously:_

_As Bobby left, Tank pulled up a chair in the small room and I took Steph's hand again. "Babe, I'd like you to consider moving up to seven with me. I'm not asking you because you're sick. I'm asking because I love you and want to be near you. I want you near me."_

_Stephanie looked from me to Tank, then back to me. "Are you serious?"_

_Tank chuckled and spoke up. "Little girl, I can tell you that he's serious. I've never seen him almost lose it the way he did today. He's going to be hell to be around if you won't move in. Write each other a letter, check the box yes or no, hell, do whatever you have to do. But I'm telling you like I told him. Get your head outta your ass and get it together. You both love each other. And today could have been so much worse. You've been given a second chance. Don't screw it up."_

_And with that Tank stood up, kissed Stephanie lightly on the top of the head, and walked out._

_Stephanie looked flabbergasted, with her mouth hanging open._

_"So what do you say Babe? Will you do me the honor of moving in? Do I need to write it out so you can check yes or no?"_

_Stephanie finally found her voice and took my hand. "Yes Ranger. My home is where you are. I'll move in as soon as I'm discharged."_

_"Don't worry about your things Babe. I'll have Ella, Louise, and some of the guys move things so that it'll be all ready for you when you get to go home."_

_Bobby and the nurse finally came in with Steph's chart, and they pushed her bed to the third floor of the hospital with me following closely behind like a love sick puppy._

Continued RPOV:

The next morning, Steph woke to a nurse happily bustling in to check her vitals and prick her finger to check her blood sugar. Her fever was down, and the doctors had decided that the illness had probably spiked her blood sugar, and made her already diabetic state worse. In other words, it was the proverbial straw that broke the sugar laden camel's back. They started her on IV antibiotics and diagnosed her with sinusitis and strep throat. No wonder she had been feeling so bad and running a fever.

She had been woken from sleep every two hours throughout the night, due to how high her blood sugar had been when she was brought in, and how high it still was. While her numbers had dropped, they still were nowhere near acceptable levels.

Steph loves her sleep, so the constant interruptions were beginning to wear on her. I heard the audible beep of the glucose meter being turned on and then the nurses' quiet "Just a little stick" and then I chuckled at what came next. It was the same words that had been uttered from Stephanie's mouth the past 6 times that the same process had been repeated. Except this time, she followed it up with a swear.

"Owwww! Dammit!"

"I'm sorry dear. But we have to continue to check your levels. They were still high all night. Let's see what it says today." This from the nurse.

"Will I have to check my readings every two hours when I go home?"

"Probably not. Once we get your blood sugars at a constant level, hopefully you will be able to check yourself around four times a day. Some people who have a lot of trouble with maintaining their levels have to check six times a day. Each person is different. You'll find what foods are trigger foods for you- those that cause a spike. And you'll want to avoid them or limit them to special occasions. And you'll most likely go home on insulin shots. Some people can take daily medication, but it appears that you may need injections for a while at least. Depending on how you do, there's also an insulin pump that can be surgically implanted. You simply refill it as needed, and it pumps a continuous level of insulin so that your levels remain constant."

"It sounds very complicated. I don't like needles. I don't think I can give myself a shot. And I don't want surgery. I don't want diabetes. I want a do-over."

"Unfortunately, there are no do overs. But we can teach you to continue to live your life in a fulfilling way, while managing the diabetes. We have you scheduled for your newly diagnosed diabetes class today. You have a couple of hours before it starts if you'd like to get dressed. You won't be released for a few more days, but your doctor felt it was important to go ahead and get you in one of the classes since they fill quickly. You can take someone with you if you'd like. It's important for your friends and family to know about how you may need to restrict your diet since most people like to show love with food."

"You sound like you know my mother."

She laughed. "I know my family. I'm a diabetic myself, so I totally get where you're coming from. I was diagnosed about 4 years ago. The first few months were the hardest. Now, it's kinda second nature. It's something I live with every day and I've just accepted that this is my thorn. I don't like it. But there are worse things. If I take care of myself, and do what I'm supposed to do-eating right and taking my medication, it makes it easier. Some people eat when they are upset, angry, happy, etc. That's the hard part about diabetes. It affects every food choice you make for the rest of your life. As far as the injections go, you'll be taught how to do those. And how to check your own blood sugars. But you may want your handsome fella here to go with you, just in case something happens like yesterday, where you can't inject yourself. They'll cover lots of topics in the class, but I suggest you also wear some sort of medical identification in case you're alone and pass out. That way, EMS will know what to do. Stress can affect your levels as well as sickness, so the better care you take of yourself, the better you'll find that you do. You can still go on to do everything in life you wanted or planned to do. You can still get married, have children, exercise, work- everything normal people do."

"This really is starting to sound like it's going to further complicate my life."

"Babe, don't worry. I'll be right there with you. We'll figure it out together." This from Carlos.

"Will you go to the class with me?"

"I already planned on it. While you were sleeping I also called your dad. Please don't get angry, but I suggested that your mom come as well. You eat at her house regularly, and while we'll continue to do that, she needs to understand that dessert can no longer be the foundation of your food pyramid."

"Seems like you've said something like that to me before."

"Babe."

The nurse was finally finished, and was writing something down in Stephanie's chart.

"How are her numbers looking this morning?"

"A little lower, but still too high. I'll be in with an injection in a few minutes."

"How high are we talking about? It was 652 yesterday when she came in."

"It's nowhere near that high this morning. She's been getting injections all through the night. She'll get breakfast this morning, but a nice walk around the floor and atrium will do her good, and probably help it to start coming on down some more. Right now it's 260. Ideally, 120 and under is best. But it's a vast improvement already. The insulin is doing its' job."

The nurse left and returned shortly with a small syringe with insulin in it. Steph pulled up her gown, and the nurse injected the insulin into her stomach.

"Does it always have to be in my stomach?"

"No, you'll learn to rotate sites for injections so that one site isn't used all the time."

After the nurse left, Steph wanted to get a shower, so I started helping her out of bed. "How do you feel this morning?"

"Like I was hit by a truck. I'm exhausted. Do you think it's just from the blood sugars?"

"Bobby said you'd feel bad partially due to the seizure you had. He said it takes a lot out of you. Yesterday…when that happened…I was so…"

Steph pulled me to her and wrapped my arms around her waist. "Me too Batman. Me too."

I helped her into the shower and found her some things to wear from the bag that Ella had sent over last night. Bobby had already briefed her on what happened, and she was already busily at work finding sugar free and low carb recipes for Steph. I'm lucky to have Ella.

When Steph finished up in the shower, I handed her the clothes and a towel. "Babe, do you need help dressing, or have you got it?"

"I think I can manage."

I waited for her in the room and heard a light knock at the door. Bobby entered, along with Tank and Lester.

Tank spoke first. "How's our little girl doing today?"

"Better. She slept, although they had to wake her to check her blood sugars every two hours. She feels like she was hit by a truck but her blood sugar is down to 260. She has a class today to learn more about it. It's in a bout an hour."

Bobby spoke up. "She'll learn a lot from that. I can help her too once she comes back to Haywood. Her things are all moved up to seven from her apartment."

Stephanie finished up in the bathroom and walked into her room. She smiled at all of the men, and each one took turns hugging her and telling her how glad they were that she was ok.

"Beautiful, if Ranger wasn't giving you enough attention, you didn't have to go pass out and seize in the Bonds Office. All you had to do was give me a call!" This from Lester, as he kissed her square on the lips.

"Santos! Don't mess with her. She's sick enough as it is without your lips all over her."

"Lester, you nut! Believe me, if I could have avoided it, I would have. Besides, you _do _know that I also have strep throat and you just kissed me?"

"No way!"

"Way. I'm not running a fever anymore, but with your luck, you'll have it next."

"I have a date this weekend. I can't be sick."

We all laughed at him as Steph chuckled. "Well, that's what you get for kissing someone else's girlfriend."

I pulled her to me and put my hands around her waist. "Exactly Santos. Serves you right."

We heard another knock at the door, and Steph's doctor walked in. "I see you're feeling much better than yesterday Ms. Plum?"

"Yes, much! Thank you Dr. Gupta. I feel tired and exhausted, but it's a big improvement from yesterday."

"You'll get your strength back over the next few days. You are very lucky that you got here as quickly as you did yesterday. I haven't seen anyone with a blood sugar that high in quite a while. I see from your chart that you are going to the class today?"

"Yes sir."

"Good. Will anyone else be attending with you?"

"Ranger and my mother. And probably my grandmother."

"Ok. I'll let them know. I see that your last reading was 260. It's still high but we're getting there. Bobby talked to me about letting you go home under his care. I had originally planned on you staying here for at least 4 more days but seeing as how he is a medic and is willing to oversee your care, if you'd like I can discharge you tomorrow. I'm referring you to an endocrinologist and I'd like you to see him by the end of the week. He will follow your progress and discuss meds with you. For now, I'm sending you home with insulin injections, and you'll learn today how to do those for yourself. Also, I want you to check your levels 2 hours after each meal, and upon waking and before sleep. And after you see the specialist, Dr. Smith, you can follow his instructions. He'll probably suggest 4 times a day."

"How will I check it at home?"

"I'll write a prescription for a meter and testing supplies, as well as insulin."

"That sounds….um…expensive."

"Babe, don't worry about it. You have insurance through Rangeman. It will cover it."

Dr. Gupta finally left after reminding Steph about how serious diabetes is. She nodded her understanding like a child getting a lecture. I was sure that her fear of needles was making the diagnosis harder, but I knew her well enough to know that Bobby getting her released early would help her disposition.

"Babe, at least you get to go home today."

"Yeah. Thanks Bobby for doing that. I promise not to try to be too big of a pain."

"Steph, you're not a pain. And you're welcome. It'll be an adjustment for you, but you'll soon learn how to manage it. Trust me."

The guys left and Steph and I finished getting ready to go to her education class. As we were leaving the room, we saw Helen and Ms. Mazur coming down the hallway.

"There's my baby granddaughter! How are you feeling?"

I was grateful that the attention of Ms. Mazur was focused on Steph and not my backside.

"I'm getting there Grandma. Hi Mom. Thanks for coming."

"Well, Stephanie, of course I'm here. When Carlos called me, I was beside myself. I want to know how to fix things you'll still be able to enjoy. And you know you are welcome to come and stay at the house until you are better."

"Thanks Mom. But I have an apartment at work, and…well, Carlos asked me to move in with him. We've been dating for a while…and…well…"

"Helen, I can assure you that I will take good care of Stephanie. I love her and plan on being around a very long time."

"Oh. I see. Well then, we'll expect both of you for Sunday dinner. That gives me a few days to perfect something for Stephanie for dessert."

"I knew you'd end up catching that fine bounty hunter! What a pip! Wait til the girls at the Clip and Curl hear about this!"

We headed down the hall to the classroom, which was filled with people of both young and old ages. Stephanie sat down beside a young girl in a chair who looked to be about 10 years old. She reminded me of Julie, my daughter.

Never one to be quiet, Stephanie started up a conversation to keep her mind off of the coming class. "Hi. My name is Stephanie. What's your name?"

"Amber."

"Are you here with someone who is sick?"

"No. I have diabetes. My mom is here with me. She went to get something to drink."

"You have diabetes?"

"Uh huh."

"How old are you?"

"Ten."

"Wow. Do you give yourself shots everyday?"

"Well, I just found out last week. But yea, so far I do. My mom taught me. She's a nurse. Do you have diabetes?"

Stephanie was deep in thought. "Yea…I mean yes. I do. I found out yesterday."

"It's not so bad."

"Whats that?"

"Diabetes. It's not so bad. My mom found some sugar free things I can have. And we take my dog Scruffles on long walks every day since I was diagnosed. It's fun and I get to spend time with my mom and dad. I get to keep snacks at school in case my blood sugar drops, and I can eat them if I feel shaky. No one else in class gets to keep snacks in their desk."

"Are you scared of needles?"

"I was. But I like it better when I do it myself. The shots that is. I like being able to be the one that does it."

"Why is that Amber?"

"Because it's my body."

Stephanie seemed to think long and hard over what Amber had said. I could tell that she wanted to talk to the young girl more, but just then, Dr. Gupta came in to introduce one of the speakers and the nutritionist that would be presenting the class. I placed my arm around Steph, and watched as she became absorbed in the information being presented.

The speakers talked about being diagnosed, and how many people experience anger and denial when first diagnosed. The nutritionist talked about foods that cause spikes in some people, along with the best foods to eat for a diabetic. Insulin and drug therapies were discussed in simple terms, and I could see that even Amber was paying close attention.

Helen sat beside me and took notes as the nutritionist spoke. She copied down web site addresses, as well as book titles that were referred to during the meeting. While Stephanie's family may not discuss their feelings very often, I could see that this was Helen's way of showing Stephanie that she cared about her and loved her.

When the class finished up, Stephanie stood and turned towards Amber and her mother. "You have a very smart and brave daughter."

"Thank you."

"She was telling me that she does her own injections."

"Yes. I'm a nurse here at the hospital on the pediatric floor. We've always found that some people with diabetes feel like everything is spiraling out of control. I explained it to Amber that it's one way that she can have control of the situation, even if she can't control the fact that she has diabetes."

"That makes sense."

"I didn't catch your name. Are you newly diagnosed?"

"I'm sorry. I'm Stephanie. And yes, I was diagnosed yesterday after a …I think they called it a diabetic emergency. My blood sugar was 652 when I was brought in."

"Wow. You're lucky to be doing so well today. I'm Marla by the way. Amber's mom."

"Yeah, everyone keeps telling me that I was really lucky. Thanks for speaking with me Amber. Maybe if you can do it, I can do it too."

Amber walked over to Stephanie. "You can. If a kid can do it, you can. Piece of cake."

We all laughed as Stephanie looked up and said, "Yeah. I'd love to have a piece of cake."


	4. Chapter 4

Previously:

"_"I didn't catch your name. Are you newly diagnosed?"_

_"I'm sorry. I'm Stephanie. And yes, I was diagnosed yesterday after a …I think they called it a diabetic emergency. My blood sugar was 652 when I was brought in."_

_"Wow. You're lucky to be doing so well today. I'm Marla by the way. Amber's mom."_

_"Yeah, everyone keeps telling me that I was really lucky. Thanks for speaking with me Amber. Maybe if you can do it, I can do it too."_

_Amber walked over to Stephanie. "You can. If a kid can do it, you can. Piece of cake."_

_We all laughed as Stephanie looked up and said, "Yeah. I'd love to have a piece of cake."_

/ \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \

Stephanie was discharged and we made our way to Haywood and got settled in to the apartment on seven. Dr. Gupta had suggested that Stephanie take it easy for a few days, and gradually work up to doing some light exercise and walking. Bobby had taken care of getting her glucose monitor and prescriptions filled for insulin. Ella already prepared healthy meals for us as a routine, but she surprised Steph by bringing a diabetic friendly dessert to her when she brought dinner up.

Stephanie ate grilled chicken and veggies willingly and even moaned a time or two. Dessert was sugar free pudding with sugar free whip cream for Steph. "This is delicious."

"See, Steph. I told you that healthy food could taste good."

"Everything tastes good when Ella fixes it."

We finished up and cleared the dinner dishes and Steph made her way over to the couch and flipped on the television. I made a few phone calls that needed following up on while Steph channel surfed and finally came out to the sofa a short while later. I had plenty of work down in my office, but it could wait. The past couple of days had been a wake up call to me.

I had prepared a surprise for Stephanie. As we sat down on the couch, I handed her a small, wrapped box. Her smile lit up her entire face as she held the box. "What's the occasion Carlos?"

"Babe, it's just a little something I wanted to get for you."

"But you already do too much for me."

"Babe, just open it."

Finally, she began to tear the wrapping paper from the box. As she opened it she gasped slightly, and then turned to look at me. "Carlos, you shouldn't have."

"Babe, the nurse and medical staff from the diabetes class suggested you wear one. And most of the ones available are ugly. I made a few calls and was able to pull a few strings. I wanted you to have something pretty."

Inside the box was a platinum Tiffiney's bracelet with a French toggle closure. It had a medical alert charm on it, with Steph's diabetic information and blood type on it. Next to that charm was a heart shaped platinum charm with "*Babe*" inscribed on the front and a diamond inset on each end of the word. On the back it read "I am my beloveds, and my beloved is mine. Always and forever~Carlos."

I took it from the box and put it on Stephanie's dainty wrist. It was perfect. I held her hand to my heart, and then kissed her palm.

"Carlos, you shouldn't have. You spent way too much money."

"Steph, I've worked all my life. We could retire ten times over. Please let me spoil you. It's just a bracelet. And it serves two purposes. One, you needed something in case of an emergency. And two, I wanted something to commemorate our moving in together. Do you like it?"

Her eyes were filled with tears as she looked from the bracelet to me. She came closer to me on the couch, and straddled my hips, holding my face with her hands. "No. I don't like it. I _love_ it. It's perfect. You're perfect. You treat me so special and take care of me. What would I do without you?"

She kissed me softly at first, but the kiss quickly became heated. Finally I pulled away to speak. "That's something you will never, ever have to figure out, because I'm not going anywhere. I'm glad you like it Babe. And I'm sorry that I pushed you away all those years with stupid words and actions. I was scared of letting someone in to my heart. I've come to realize that life is too short. I'm not willing to waste any more time."

Stephanie had tears steadily streaming down her face at this point. I gently thumbed the tears away and held her close to me. I could feel her heart beating as she pressed herself to me. I ran my hands under her shirt and gently rubbed her back. She started kissing me and her tongue found mine as they danced an erotic dance together. Seeking, giving, teasing, nipping. We hadn't been intimate since the deal I made with her. I had regretted walking out of her bedroom every day since. In the past 6 months since her breakup with Morelli, I'd slowly integrated myself into her life. There wasn't a point in which we said out loud that we were exclusive, but it was a quiet unknown. I'd decided I would give her all the time she needed, and I hadn't pushed for sex. We'd done some heavy petting and kissing, and there were several nights where a cold shower was the only thing that kept me from tearing her clothes off.

But now things between us seemed to have taken on a more intimate presence. I had, after all, asked her to live with me. But I wasn't sure that she was ready for sex. Six months is a long time to "cat around" as Tank would call it, without being intimate. But I wanted the next time that we made love to be the start of something permanent. Something real. I didn't want to make the same mistake I made last time. I walked out and sent her back to Morelli, thinking he was better for her. But I'd come to realize that I couldn't live without her. And I could love her more than Morelli could. I wouldn't try to change her. I wanted to be with her for who she was now, not for some dream of what I wanted her to be in the future, or to satisfy some idealistic dream of what typical people considered normal. I knew for a fact that I wouldn't be sending her anywhere anymore.

Our breathing became heavy and I finally found the strength to pull myself away, although every voice in my head was telling me not to. "Babe, I don't know if we should. Are you feeling ok? You've had a rough couple of days. Are you sure you're ready for this?"

"God, Carlos, I've waited 6 months already. I'm going to explode. You can't be serious."

I glared at her, and then laughed. "Babe, I'm just thinking of you."

"Stop thinking already and make love to me. It's been too long. I need to feel you inside me. Please. I never thought you'd finally be ready. I kept hoping…"

"Babe, you mean you were ready before now."

"God, Carlos. I was ready on our second date. I've worn out three shower massagers in the past six months."

"Babe, I've taken enough cold showers to almost cause permanent damage. For the love of god why didn't you say something before now?"

"Carlos, I didn't want to seem desperate. I wanted to give you time and space. And I was willing to take whatever you were ready to give. As little or as much as that was."

"Babe. I….well, I didn't know. I was trying to give you time. I was trying to be a gentleman. I don't want it to be like last time when I sent you back to Morelli."

"Then don't send me anywhere."

"Trust me Babe, you're not going anywhere anymore. Not without me. If you leave, pack my bags, 'cause I'm going with you."

It was nice to know that Stephanie had been just as equally affected from our 6 month dating and make out sessions. She took a deep breath and pulled me to her as I closed my eyes. "Carlos, trust me. I'm ready for this. And from the feel of what I'm sitting on, I think you're ready too.  
I have diabetes, but there's nothing wrong with my parts that we'll be using tonight. They are all working just fine. Now take me to bed. Please."

I glanced at my watch. "On one condition, Babe."

Stephanie continued kissing my neck and sucking on my ear. "Carlos, now isn't the time for negotiations. Please tell me you don't have somewhere to be."

I returned kisses to her beautiful face and up her neck while speaking. "Babe, we need to check your blood sugar. It's been about two hours since we've eaten."

Steph closed her eyes and let out a frustrated groan. I pulled her to me and continued to rub soothing circles on her arms and back.

"Babe, the sooner we incorporate the routine into our lives, the easier it'll be. This isn't something that you can live in denial land about. You have to test your levels, and do your injections."

Steph looked slightly annoyed, but finally relented. "I know. It's just that I want my old life back. I'm just now realizing how this is going to affect everything I do. I can't even get an orgasm without testing beforehand."

I laughed. Not a quick smirky laugh, but a true deep down laugh. Only my Babe. "Steph, I promise that you will have several. Just be patient. You can still do everything you always did. You just need to make a few alterations. Come on. It won't take but a minute."

"I suppose."

"I'll get your monitor, and your meds, and you can do the test. How's that?"

"But I've never done it by myself."

"Steph, you practiced at the hospital before we left."

"But a nurse was there guiding me."

"Steph I have faith in you that you can do this."

Stephanie looked up at me and smiled. "You really think I can do this? That I can live with this? And inject myself, and test myself, and …."

"Stephanie, I have no doubt that you can do anything you set your mind to."

She seemed to ponder that for a minute. "Thanks Batman."

I slid her gently from my lap, onto the sofa, and then walked to the kitchen to get her test kit. I took it to her in the living room, and left her with it while I went back to the kitchen to get her meds and insulin from the fridge. Bobby had left all of the supplies she would need in the apartment, and he had told me that the insulin needed to be kept refrigerated. Also, I figured me stepping into the kitchen would give Stephanie a few minutes to prick her finger and test her sugar levels. I didn't want to seem like the over protective boyfriend, and I knew that Stephanie needed to be able to do the test and injections by herself. Bobby had also taken the liberty of leaving test kits and meds at her parents' house and at the Bonds office just in case she needed supplies while she was there. We figured the easier it was for her to make this part of her daily life, the more likely she would be to get on board.

I heard the quiet 'beep' of the machine being turned on, and then I heard the box of strips being opened. The soft "click" of the lancet being depressed was barely audible, and I noticed that Stephanie didn't make a sound. While in the hospital, she quickly mumbled "ouch" after each finger stick.

I waited a few seconds, and then walked back into the living room. "What's the verdict Babe?"

"280."

I handed her a bottle of water. "Ok. Here's your meds and insulin and a syringe."

She took the pills and then looked at the vial in her hand. "Carlos, I'm kinda nervous."

"Babe you did this in the hospital. You can do it. But I can call Bobby if you want me to. Or I can do it for you. But you need to be able to do it by yourself eventually."

"No, don't bother Bobby."

"Do you want me to do it?"

"No. I can. I think. Wait! How do you know how to give injections?"

"Babe, I watched what they did and Bobby helped me practice on an orange. But I also knew some first aid and emergency field care from my time in the Army and Rangers. I just refreshed my technique."

"You actually practiced on an orange?"

"Sure, why not? That's how lots of people learn."

Stephanie seemed to find this rather humorus, but finally she consulted the chart she had been given and filled the syringe with medication from the vial. She carefully looked at the reading on the side of the syring, as she had been shown to do. She took an alcohol wipe and cleansed a spot on her stomach, pinched the skin, and took a deep breath. "I don't think I'll ever get to the point that I don't dislike doing this. I hate needles."

"I know Babe. And you may not have to do this forever. But for now, it's what we have to do."

Stephanie nodded, took another breath, and injected the medication into her pinched skin. "I did it."

"Yep. All by yourself. I'm proud of you Babe."

"Thanks Carlos." She smiled one of her true smiles and I kissed her gently. She zipped up the test kit, and I took the medication back to the fridge. As I walked back into the living room, I drew her into my arms and kissed her deeply. "Now where were we?"

Stephanie kissed my neck and bit down slightly on the juncture between my neck and collarbone. "I think we were just about right here."

I groaned and pressed myself into her. "Steph, don't' tease me like that. You're playing with fire Babe. It's been too long, and I don't know that I can be gentle. I want to be, God knows I want to be. I want to show you how much I love and adore you and take my time with you. But right now, there's a very real part of me that wants to strip you naked and savagely have my way with you."

"You don't see me complaining. What's stopping you? We've got lots of time for gentleness later, Carlos. I need you. Now."

She ran her fingers into my hair and pulled sharply, biting the tender flesh on my neck again and it was as if a dam inside me broke. My hands were everywhere on her porcelain skin. I stripped her shirt over her head as she frantically slid my cargos down. We somehow managed to lose our shoes in the chaos, but yet never stopped touching each other. It was as if a fire had been lit between us, and we were desperate for each other.

She began to pull my shirt off, and I broke our kiss only long enough to pull it over my head. I reached behind her and unclasped her bra, dropping it to the floor with the remainder of our clothes. I wrapped both of my arms under her arms and my hands found their way over her shoulders, as I bent her back slightly. I took part of the tender flesh of one of her luscious breasts roughly into my mouth sucking and biting- marking her as mine. I flicked her nipple gently with my tongue before nipping at it lightly with my teeth while I palmed the other breast.

"Harder, Carlos. More!"

I ran my tongue up the middle of her chest, between her breasts, and licked her neck, until I found my way back up to her mouth. Our tongues dueled for control, while I lifted her by her cheeks and placed her legs around my waist. I walked to the bedroom with her holding on to me, both of us caught up in the depths of our desire. I laid her on the bed and my fingers found their way to her wet folds, teasing her, tormenting her, bringing her to the peak. I slid my tongue down to her sex, inhaling the muskiness of her arousal, and lapped up her juices as they poured out. Never in my life had I been so turned on. She responded to me in a way that only true lovers- true soul mates- respond. Every touch was tempting her, taking her higher and higher. She began to moan my name, and I slid one, then two, then finally three fingers into her and pressed her G spot while pumping into her and spiraling her over the edge. I didn't give her time to come down from the high she was on. I had to have her.

I nudged her thighs further apart and found myself ready at her entrance. "Steph, tell me to stop now if you're not ready. "

"God, Carlos, please! Take me. I want to feel you in me."

I slid into her, halfway at first, and couldn't believe the feeling. The first night we were together was beyond words. But this was nirvana. She was so tight and wet. And she was mine. I was finally home. I meant to steady myself, to give her time to adjust to my size. But she was having none of it. She grabbed by butt and clawed me, screaming "more, please more"!

I pulled back out all the way, and slammed back in to her velvet depths. I could tell as I did it, it sent off an orgasm in Stephanie. Her walls clenched me tightly, spasms gripping me, pulling me in. I began a rhythm, quick and unrelenting, eager to make her mine. Stephanie's voice was breathy and full of emotion. "Don't hold back Carlos. Show me your love. Lose control and have your way with me."

Dios! I couldn't believe her words. Never in my life had I felt like this. The need to love and protect her only rivaled by the need to claim her, mark her, and make her mine. "Open your eyes, Babe. Look at me. Lose control with me."

At that moment our pace became even more frenzied. We coupled together in love and lust, and couldn't get enough of each other. Her hands were everywhere, moving, pinching, caressing. Her lips on me, licking, biting, marking. Finally, with one last thrust, we came together in the heat of passion, with my seed coating her walls. I could feel her getting tighter, clenching, milking me for all that I had in me.

We lay sated together, trying to catch our breath. I could feel our hearts pounding to the same beat. Never before had I ever experienced anything like that. There were no words for what we just experienced. It was love in its' most primal form.

I rolled over to my back, and tucked Stephanie into my side. I caressed her gently, and lovingly; willing her to feel the love I felt for her. After a few moments, I felt myself start to stir again, and rolled her on top of me. I kissed her hands, wrists, and fingertips, and placed them on my chest. She bent to kiss me, and the tenderness I saw and felt shook me to my core.

I looked up at Steph and could see her returning the love I felt for her. It shone through her eyes from the very depths of her soul. She gently caressed my chest, barely touching here and there. I ran my hands up her legs, which were bent on each side of me as she straddled me. She shifted slightly and my thick member found its' way to her warm folds. I gently raised my hips at the same time she shifted again and found the tip of my member hitting the mouth of her cervix. She gasped, rocking back further until I could go no deeper. We began a gentle, steady rhythm, rocking each other as waves of pleasure crashed over us. Our eyes never wavered, never closed. We were one in every sense of the word. This was not the primal love I had just experienced minutes before, but felt more like I was opening my very soul to Stephanie. I was allowing her to see me in the most intimate of ways. Not sexually, but emotionally. When we finally came, it was as if a gentle breeze had blown over both of us, taking our breath away with it. Tears escaped down her face, and I brushed them away. I pulled Stephanie to me, holding her as the tears continued to fall, full of emotion and unsaid words. There were no words for what we were feeling at that moment-I'm not sure any had been invented yet that would do the moment justice. No words were needed- we had said it all with our love.

I kissed the tears as they fell, and looked deeply into her eyes. "I love you with all that I am. No qualifications. No conditions. With my whole being I am yours."

Stephanie smiled and kissed me deeply. "Carlos, with all that I am, I love you. I'm yours. For as long as you want me. For as long as you'll have me.

"Forever Stephanie. Say it, Babe. Mine!"

"Yours. Only yours. Forever!"

We held each other for hours afterwards, whispering words of love and emotion that were too precious to be spoken aloud. Finally, after we were spent, we drifted off to sleep, tangled in each other's arms and at peace for the first time in our lives.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Still not mine. Wish they were. If wishes were horses we'd all take a ride…yadda yadda yadda.

Previously:

_I kissed the tears as they fell, and looked deeply into her eyes. "I love you with all that I am. No qualifications. No conditions. With my whole being I am yours."_

_Stephanie smiled and kissed me deeply. "Carlos, with all that I am, I love you. I'm yours. For as long as you want me. For as long as you'll have me._

_"Forever Stephanie. Say it, Babe. Mine!"_

_"Yours. Only yours. Forever!"_

_We held each other for hours afterwards, whispering words of love and emotion that were too precious to be spoken aloud. Finally, after we were spent, we drifted off to sleep, tangled in each other's arms and at peace for the first time in our lives._

The next day I awoke around my normal time of 5am. Stephanie was using me as a pillow and had her head laying on my shoulder. Her legs were tangled with mine and the covers were thrown willy nilly all over the bed. I placed a gentle kiss to her temple as I slid out of bed and pushed my pillow under her head.

I dressed quickly and made my way down to the gym. Thoughts from last night were replaying in my head. It was hard to believe that Stephanie and I had finally shared a night of love and passion together. And not just any night! We awoke several times during the night to find each other, touching, kissing, loving. It was better than I ever dreamed it could be. The memory of our first time together had kept me warm on many a long night, but last night topped it. If that's even possible. Her body was more exquisite than I dared to remember. Her skin so soft and lush. She responded to me in ways that I dared not dream. _Dios!_

As I started my workout, Tank, Bobby, Lester, and several of the other men were starting to make their way into the gym. I had decided on using the treadmill for a leisurely 5 mile run, and then planned on getting in a little free weight action when I finished. Tank took the treadmill to my left and Bobby took the one to my right.

I nodded to them in acknowledgement, and continued to run.

Bobby set off at a warm up pace, along with Tank, and was the first to speak. "Boss, how's Bomber doing this morning?"

"She was still asleep when I left the apartment. But last night her reading was 280 2 hours after dinner."

Bobby made a slight grimace. "That's better. But still not where it needs to be. 'Course it was so high before, that it may take a few days yet to regulate. If we don't see improvement in a few days they may need to adjust her medication further."

Tank spoke up. "Wasn't she supposed to go see a specialist?"

Bobby answered while I nodded. "An endocrinologist. Dr. Smith. I've already called and set up her appointment. It's today at 2pm. Ranger, if you can't take her, or if you'd like me to go, I can."

"Bobby, I'd like for both of us to go. The quicker we learn how to help Steph incorporate this into her life, the easier it'll be on her. I'm not sure she has grasped the seriousness of the situation yet."

Tank laughed. "Man, she had a freakin' seizure at the Bond's office. Her blood sugar was out the roof! What more will it take? Surely she…"

I interrupted Tank. "This is Stephanie we're talking about, Tank. She is the queen of denial. She runs from most problems until she has to deal with them. That's her way of dealing. She can usually "man up" and take care of things when that's her last resort. But we can't afford to let it get that far. From everything I've seen, she's really lucky that she got sick and this was caught. Had it progressed, it could have been much worse."

Bobby agreed. "Ranger is right. She could have had organ failure, heart failure…the list goes on. Ranger, when she's feeling stronger, I'd like to work with her on a simple exercise program. I figure we'll work up something that she can do…that doesn't seem too monotonous. You know she gets bored easily."

"Thanks Bobby. I appreciate it."

By this time, I had run my 5 miles and went to spar with Lester in the ring. He looked a little worse for the wear, and after several half hearted attempts at sparring (and Lester repeatedly ending up on the mats), I decided to call it a day.

"What's with you Santos? Your Grandma hits harder than what you're throwing my way."

"Seeing as how my Grandma is also your Grandma, I'll take that as a compliment! But seriously, I think I'm coming down with something. I feel like shit and I don't have any energy. And my throat is sore."

Bobby heard Lester and walked over. He felt of Lester's face and told him to open his mouth and say 'aaaah'.

"Umm hmm. That's what I figured. Lester, didn't you kiss Bomber in the hospital?"

I growled under my breath at the memory. I hated it when Santos did that! And I knew he just did it to get a rise out of me!

He smirked at me and laughed. "Yeah, I was happy to see her!"

"Yeah, well I hope you enjoyed it 'cause it'll probably be the last kiss you get for a week or so. You've got strep. You probably caught it from Bomber."

"Shit!"

It was my turn to laugh. "Santos, that's what you get for kissing someone else's woman. See that you keep your lips and hands off of her."

"Boss, I didn't mean it like that…"

"Santos! Cool it! Bobby, take him to the treatment room and start him on some meds. Tank, see if you can find someone to cover his shift for the next few days."

I left the gym and went upstairs to shower and found Steph in the same position I left her in. "Babe. Wake up. Rise and shine. How are you feeling this morning?"

Stephanie grumbled a few words and finally spoke a half hearted "Morning…" as she rolled over. When she did the sheet slid down from her chest to her hip, and exposed her naked breast underneath. She had fallen asleep in my arms last night after our escapades, and hadn't gotten up to put anything on.

"Stephanie, Babe, you can't do that and expect me to not react. I'm only a man afteral". I reached out and touched her warm breast and palmed it in my hand. Stephanie sported a half smile that told me she wasn't as asleep as I thought she was. I looked up to see her smiling at me as her eyes were half open.

"See something you're interested in Batman?"

In two seconds flat I had my clothes off and was on top of her. I craved her like she craved Tasty Cakes. I couldn't get enough of her!

After our morning wake up call, we finally made it into the shower. Taking a shower together certainly didn't help save water, nor did it speed up the process, but what do I care? I'd gladly be late if it meant that I got to worship at the temple of Stephanie for a little longer.

When we'd both finally dressed for the day, we made our way into the kitchen. Ella had left breakfast for us, and we sat down to eat. "Babe, what do you have planned for the day? You know, you should still be taking it easy."

"I thought I'd go check in with Connie and Lula in the Bonds office. The last time I was there I'm sure I scared the bejeezers out of them. So I'll visit a little while and pick up the Rangeman files while I'm there."

"Babe, you're still not up to 100%. Are you sure you should be going after FTA's so soon?"

"Oh, I won't do any captures today. I'll pick up any files they have for me and come back here to do my searches on them. Plus, I've given some thought to your offer of doing searches again. I don't want to give up being a BEA, but I'd like to do a little less of it, or at least have some backup handy. And Lula doesn't always count, if you know what I mean."

"I think that's an excellent idea. But, if you don't mind me asking, what prompted the change of heart? The last time we talked, you didn't want to do searches. You even turned me down when I wanted you to learn more about the contract negotiations. I think you'd be very good at that with your experience from your previous jobs and your degree in Marketing."

"Well, I guess I've just been thinking. And while I'd like to keep up my skills with captures, now that I'm living here and we're together, I guess I'd just like to play a more important role in the company. I want to be a part of it. Because it's a part of you. I want to help out."

"Stephanie, I'm thrilled. But are you sure? I don't want you to feel pressured into this."

"Carlos, I'm not. You didn't pressure me at all. As a matter of fact you haven't said another word about it since you asked me. I'm just becoming the new and improved Stephanie."

It thrilled me to no end that Stephanie wanted to work for my company. I had put so much of myself into bringing the company up and running. And now to have the woman that I loved working her with me- not for me- but with me. It was like a dream come true. "Babe, I love you just the way you are." And then I leaned over and placed a soft kiss on her lips.

"What are your plans for the day Carlos?"

"I've got a couple of meetings this morning with potential clients. You're welcome to sit in on them if you'd like."

"Sure. I'd like that very much."

"Ok Babe. The first one is at 10 and the second one is a lunch meeting at 12. Oh, and Bobby said he got you an appointment with the endocrinologist at 2pm. Is that time ok? I can go with you, and Bobby can too."

Stephanie rolled her eyes. "I don't see why I have to go to another doctor. I've already seen plenty of doctors in the ER and while I was hospitalized. I agreed to take the meds and the shots. What else can he do?"

I stood and walked over to the barstool where she was eating breakfast. "Steph, you may not have to always take the meds and shots. But this specialist will help you learn to monitor your condition better, and he may have suggestions to help you deal with the diagnosis. Plus, you'll need someone to follow you closely and watch your progress. Do I need to remind you that this is serious?"

"No, Carlos. I'm fully aware. How could I forget? You all keep reminding me, and there's no sugar in the entire apartment! You cleaned out my stash!"

"Babe, why were you looking for your sugar stash?"

"Because I wanted to see if it was still here."

I had figured Stephanie would have a weak moment and give into temptation eventually, so Ella and I had gotten rid of all of her no-so-secret stash. There were four hiding places in all. I had just hoped that she wouldn't give in so soon.  
"Were you going to eat it?"

"Ummm…no?" She said in more of a question than answer tone.

"Stephanie!"

"Well…ok….ok. So maybe I got up and looked for my Tasty Cake stash while you were at the gym. I'm not sure I would have eaten one. But it doesn't really matter anyway. It's all gone. Even the ones in the bathroom! How did you find those anyway?"

"Stephanie, I know a lot of things that you don't think I know. And I've known about your hidden Tasty Cakes in the tampon box under my bathroom sink for a while. You can't hide your emergency stashes from me. But Babe, you are going to have to cut all that out until we at least get your levels regulated. I'm not saying that you can never have them again. But the quantity and frequency will have to change."

Stephanie looked decidedly unhappy. "I know Carlos. It's just that…"

I pulled her to me in hug. "Listen, Steph. I understand. Really, I do. It's not going to be easy. But I'm only saying this because I love you and I want you to be around with me for a very, very long time. I need you here with me. I can't lose you."

Stephanie sighed a deep sigh and nodded her head. "You're right. I know. I just hate it."

I chuckled. "Which one? Me being right? Or the no sugar part?"

Stephanie smirked and looked up at me. "Both!"


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Not mine, and I'm not making any money off of it.

Author's Note: I want to apologize for not updating sooner. Real life got in the way big time. The past year has been very difficult for my family. My husband and I found out we were pregnant last March and at around 16 weeks we found out that our son had a severe condition that caused some abnormalities. The most important issue was that his kidneys did not grow or function like most normal babies. We were given the option of aborting, but chose to continue on to delivery. We went to many specialists, and even had surgery on our child while he was in the womb. Talk about amazing, huh? In November I delivered our son by c-section. He lived about 30 minutes but I wouldn't trade the experience for anything. We prayed for a child, and God answered that prayer. Many people who knew us or who read our online Caringbridge journal told us how our child touched their lives. It's amazing what God can do with one small life. For those who sent private messages or reviews during that time- thank you. It helped to know that there were those out there who were still reading my stories and enjoying them. I have promised to update and finish them all, and I mean it. They will be finished.

At any rate, time makes things a little easier. I'm slowly getting back in the groove of writing- although I've never gotten out of the groove of fanfiction. I read updates daily. J I also have 2 more stories that I'm working on. I hope to finish them before posting so that I don't leave anyone upset. J

Now …on to the story. I don't claim to be a doctor, and most of the info I have in this chapter I found online. It took a bit of research to do this chapter. So please don't be angry if I've got something wrong medically speaking. This is, after all, fiction. There's a lot of info in this chapter about insulin pumps, and I'm sure I left something out. I felt all of the information was important for us to get a glimpse into what Stephanie is having to deal with. That said, if you don't like medical info and such, this chapter may not be for you. J

_**Previously:**_ _"Stephanie, I know a lot of things that you don't think I know. And I've known about your hidden Tasty Cakes in the tampon box under my bathroom sink for a while. You can't hide your emergency stashes from me. But Babe, you are going to have to cut all that out until we at least get your levels regulated. I'm not saying that you can never have them again. But the quantity and frequency will have to change."_

_Stephanie looked decidedly unhappy. "I know Carlos. It's just that…"_

_I pulled her to me in hug. "Listen, Steph. I understand. Really, I do. It's not going to be easy. But I'm only saying this because I love you and I want you to be around with me for a very, very long time. I need you here with me. I can't lose you."_

_Stephanie sighed a deep sigh and nodded her head. "You're right. I know. I just hate it."_

_I chuckled. "Which one? Me being right? Or the no sugar part?"_

_Stephanie smirked and looked up at me. "Both!"_

***…***…

The morning passed as expected. Steph ran by the bonds office and reassured Connie and Lula that she was going to be ok as she picked up files. Lester rode with her, since she'd had a seizure previously, and I wasn't comfortable with her going alone. Thankfully, since the seizure was caused by her blood sugar, she didn't have to lose her license short term like she would have if she had been diagnosed with epilepsy. But I still felt better with Lester riding along. Connie and Lula had a lot of questions for her, but Steph did what she could to reassure them. When she returned to Rangeman, she sat in on a couple of new client meetings with me and then we broke for lunch. Steph half-heartedly grumbled as she checked her blood sugar before eating and completed the injection that she needed. We settled for lunch supplied by Ella in the Rangeman break room since we had to leave shortly afterwards for her appointment with Dr. Smith.

As we finished up lunch, I pulled Steph into my arms for a quick hug. I could sense her frustration and wanted her to know I'd be right there with her at the appointment.

"Babe, what's got you so upset? I questioned as I held her to me. I knew that my touch usually settled her nerves, and I was willing to take every advantage of that.

"I just don't want to go Carlos." Stephanie complained. "I know diabetes is serious, and that I should go, but it's all so sudden. There are so many changes I'm having to make all of a sudden. It's just not fair. I don't think I'll ever get to the point that I am comfortable with injecting myself with the insulin. I'm just overwhelmed I guess. Every two hours it's another stick. Get up in the mornings-stick. Take a shower and eat breakfast. Go to work-stick. Stick before lunch. I'm turning into a pin cushion. And that's not counting the shots. I'm just not sure I'm cut out for this. I mean, maybe if I eat right and exercise more I can just see what happens."

"Babe, I can understand. But we can't just 'see what happens'. Look at what happened a couple of days ago when you just let things go. This is real. Life happens. But the quicker we make this a part of your everyday life, the easier it will be to handle. You can ask Dr. Smith any questions you have. And I'll be there with you, along with Bobby. Okay?"

Stephanie harrumphed a bit, but eventually agreed. She went to her desk to get her things and we loaded up into the Cayenne. Bobby was going to meet us there.

Thirty minutes later we found ourselves sitting in a well decorated waiting room while we waited for Steph's name to be called. Bobby had taken the liberty of having Steph's medical records sent over, and had prefilled all of the patient information forms for her, so all we had to do was sign in. Stephanie was biting on a hangnail while she bounced her black cargo clad leg up and down in a nervous manner. I reached out and stilled her leg, gently squeezing it and then running my hand down to her knee and back up gently.

"Babe, it's going to be ok. There's nothing to be nervous over."

Stephanie looked at me as if I'd spoken in Hebrew. "Sure. That's easy for you to say. What if he tells me diabetes is going to kill me. What if he tells me I have to stick myself even more? What if…."

Bobby interrupted. "Stephanie, you're already checking your levels every two hours throughout the day. Most likely, he'll reduce that number. Plus, he may even have something in mind to make things easier. There are all kinds of new meds and prefilled syringes out now. We very well may leave here with a more positive handle on all of this than we came here with."

"Really?" Stephanie turned towards Bobby, trying to see if he was feeding her a line of bull. "Do you really think so?"

"I can't guarantee it, Steph. But there's a possibility. I've done some research and there's a lot more treatments out there than there used to be. We can ask all the questions that you want while we are here. I'm sure he's got a lot to tell us."

Just then, a nurse came through the waiting room doors. "Ms. Plum, Dr. Smith will see you now."

Bobby and I followed Stephanie through the door into a small hallway. She was quickly weighed and her blood pressure, temp, and respirations were taken, and then we were led into a patient room where Dr. Smith was waiting.

"Ms. Plum, I'm Dr. Smith, but you can call me Jeff."

"Please, call me Stephanie or Steph. This is my boyfriend Carlos Manoso, and my friend Bobby. Bobby is also a medic for Carlos' company."

Bobby did a complicated handshake with Jeff and it was obvious that they knew each other. Bobby smiled as he explained. "Steph, Jeff and I go way back. We served in basic training together, and since I knew him I asked your attending physician at the hospital if your case could be referred to him. I trust him."

Stephanie smiled. "Well, if you trust him that's good enough for me."

Jeff helped Stephanie up onto the patient table as Bobby and I sat in the two chairs provided in the room. "So Bobby tells me you're a newly diagnosed diabetic. He's brought me up to speed on your case, but I'd like to talk to you a little about how you're feeling, what your typical diet is like, and we'll go from there. Sound ok?"

"Sure."

"Ok then. How often are you checking your levels right now?"

"Every two hours. That's what Dr. Gupta recommended."

"Good. Have you been recording those?"

Stephanie nodded as I handed the doctor a notebook that we'd used to keep track of her levels over the past few days. He looked over them and nodded.

"So how are you feeling now? Any dizziness, dry mouth, nausea, thirst?"

"Well, I feel better than I did. No more fever or sore throat so the antibiotics for the strep are doing their job I suppose. I'm not as thirsty as I was the day I had the crisis, but I still drink a lot. I'm trying to just drink water since there's sugar in sodas. Carlos had the apartment stocked with a few diet drinks and diet sports drinks to decrease the sugar I'm taking in."

Jeff nodded. "Good. That's a great start. Any other odd feelings? Jitteriness? Fatigue?"

Stephanie glanced towards Bobby, then me, and looked back to the doctor. "Well, I've noticed that I get a little jittery when it's almost meal time. Nothing too bad, and it usually helps to eat."

I took a deep breath. Obviously I hadn't noticed this new symptom and felt bad that Steph felt the need to hide it from me. I pulled her hand to mine. "Steph, Babe, why didn't you tell me? You don't have to hide symptoms from me or Bobby."

"I know. It's just that I don't want you to think I'm weak. I knew you wouldn't let me go back to work if I told you. I felt better, really I did. But Bobby said I could ask any questions I wanted, and I just wondered if that jitteriness would be something I'd have to learn to live with."

The doctor took that opportunity to speak up. "Stephanie, it's good that you're being honest. That way, we can decide the best plan of action for you. Don't be afraid to tell me what's working and what's not. And be honest with Carlos and Bobby. With your permission, I'll be in touch with Bobby throughout your treatment- and you as well. If we need to make adjustments we certainly can. Like I said, not all treatments work well for all patients. Some people have extreme nausea as a side effect from some of the meds. Others tolerate them well. I suspect that the jitteriness will subside as we get your levels under control. Also, eating good foods more frequently may help. Bobby has told me that sugar is one of your favorite food groups. However, according to your chart, your weight is a little low for your height. So it appears you may have a faster metabolism than most. We'll work out a nutrition plan for you to include more proteins and complex carbs, so you have energy longer and hopefully won't experience the shakes and jitters."

Stephanie nodded as she took it all in.

The doctor continued. "So tell me about your exercise routine. What's normal for you?"

"I'm not a big fan of it."

We all laughed as Stephanie looked a little embarrassed. Bobby spoke up, explaining his plan. "Jeff, I have worked out an exercise routine for Steph. Stephanie, I had planned on going over it with you once we got the clear from the doctor today for physical activity. I know you tend to get bored easily, so hopefully we can mix it up enough to keep it interesting. Also, it's not like you have to put in hours a day down in the gym."

"Bobby's right, Steph. Thirty to forty-five minutes a day is a good start. You can get that in by walking, swimming, dancing, doing cardio- anything that interests you. Is there something you really enjoy doing?"

"Well, I swam on my high school swim team for a year. I enjoyed that. And I took dance lessons for about 4 years in middle school and picked it back up in college. Also I used to walk my friends dog, Bob. I enjoyed that."

Bobby smiled and looked over to me. As much as I regretted sending her back to Morelli, I knew she loved that dog of his. Maybe I'd get her a dog of her own. Something to think about.

Jeff spoke up. "Good. That gives us something to start with. I'd like for you to exercise at least five days a week for now. Exercise is one of the best ways to bring your sugars down closer to normal levels. Also, keep drinking lots of water. You may never get to what we call normal levels, but we'll try to get you as close as possible. Also, since it's obvious that sickness affects your blood sugars strongly, I want you to try to take excellent care of yourself. Try to stay away from others who are sick. If you haven't had your flu shot, we can do that today before you leave. Sometimes the flu puts diabetics in the hospital so I encourage all of my patients to get the vaccine. I'd like for you to continue to check your blood sugars, but you can go four hours between readings. Your dosage over the past couple days has been about the same, so we can do some prefilled syringes if you'd like. That way, you don't have to mix your drugs. It's more convenient for people who are on the go like yourself. Also, I'd like for you to eat several small meals instead of three large ones to see how that affects your levels. Keep a snack in your purse or in your car. And I'm talking healthy snacks, not donuts." At this, Stephanie cut her eyes to Bobby and mouthed the words "blabbermouth" to him.

We stayed and discussed a few more things about Stephanie's new diagnosis before Jeff asked if Steph had any more questions.

"Well, I really hate sticking myself. I know it's going to be a very real part of my future, but Bobby mentioned something about an insulin pump. If I have to remain on insulin, would I be a candidate for that?"

Jeff sat back in his chair as if he was getting ready for a long talk. "I'm glad you asked. Steph, insulin pumps are a good option for people who want tighter control over their insulin levels. It used to be that people with type I diabetes were the only ones who used these pumps. Now, more and more type II diabetics are using them as well. I believe you have type I. Most people who have type I diabetes are diagnosed in their youth. But a few escape to their early thirties. You have no family history of diabetes and you're not overweight. So it's likely that you have type 1, especially since you had the presence of a lot of ketones in your blood. I'm not going to lie to you. I think you've probably been a diabetic for a while now. That said, since you're a type 1 diabetic, it means that your body isn't producing insulin. So most likely you will be on injections of some sort for the rest of your life."

Stephanie nodded and a few tears escaped as she took this in. I stood and went to stand by her side. "Steph, it's ok. We'll deal with this. Don't cry, Babe. Please."

"Ranger, you didn't sign on to have to take care of someone who could eventually be very sick. You didn't sign up for this."

"Babe, it's a part of you. And I love you. We'll work through it. The nurse at the hospital told you that you could still do all the things in life that you wanted to. Remember?"

The doctor spoke up. "He's right Steph. Diabetes isn't a death sentence. You can still work, have kids, get married, climb a mountain…whatever it is that you want to do. You've just got to prepare more to do it. Check your readings, exercise, eat right, and take your meds. While it is true that you've most likely had it a while, we're still in the green zone. I don't think any major, permanent damage has been done, but we could do a few tests to further rule that out. There are some additional blood panels I'd like to do as well to give us a more accurate view of your case. Some people have trouble maintaining a constant level and experience peaks and lows. It sounds like you've experienced some of those with your shakiness you described. There are advantages to a pump. They reduce complications associated with diabetes, you obviously don't have to stick yourself as much, you get better control, a more flexible lifestyle, and you only use the amount of insulin you need to cover what you eat. But there are disadvantages too. There's a learning curve with a pump. You have to count carbs and be really strict about what you eat so you've got to know a lot more about nutrition. You have to test more to ensure your pump is set accurately. The pump becomes an extra part of you, if you will. You carry it with you 24/7. You can disconnect it for very short periods of time, but for the most part, it's on you all the time. You also have to stick yourself when you rotate sites for pump placement, so you're never going to be totally needle free. And lastly, it can be very expensive if your insurance won't cover it."

Stephanie nodded her head and seemed to be in deep thought. I looked to Bobby and saw that he was taking notes. I knew that if our Rangeman insurance plan didn't cover the pump, Stephanie wouldn't go for it. And I knew I couldn't let that be a deciding factor. If she wanted to try it, I'd make sure she had it.

"Cost doesn't matter. We can take care of the supplies if our policy doesn't cover it."

Stephanie interrupted. "No Carlos. I can't allow you to do that. I won't…."

Before an argument could ensue, Bobby cleared his throat and interrupted both of us. "There's no use in arguing. I've already checked and our insurance covers the cost and supplies at 100%. If Bombshell decides she wants to do it, there's no reason not to."

Stephanie took a deep breath and I smirked. Secretly, I was glad that I'd added her on at Rangeman back even when she was doing less than part time work. It made times like these a little easier, but I'd do whatever it took for her to have what she needed.

Jeff spoke again. "As I was saying, for those who have insulin pumps, and like them, they list many advantages. It gives you more control over your body and how it reacts to the foods you are going to put in it. Insulin pumps use rapid acting insulin, so you've got to test often and eat regularly. Otherwise, you'll find yourself on the floor again."

Stephanie spoke up. "If I decide that I wanted one, how long would I need to get one? Or is it just for people who have been a diabetic for a while?"

"If you decide that you want to do it, we can set it up today. However, you need to be sure. There's a lot that goes with wearing a pump. Today's pumps have safety check features that will alert you to kinks in the tubing or a problem with the pump. Some models are waterproof, so you can shower with them or remove them for a short period of time. You can still swim with them if you chose a waterproof model, or you can put them in a waterproof pouch. If you have to disconnect the tubing for a short period, there's a cap that you can put on the port for safety. It's all fairly simple once you make it a routine part of your life. But I can't stress enough that you must test and you have to be rigorous about nutritional intake. And again, the insulin is fast acting, so you can't decide you're not hungry and not eat. You have to rotate sites around every three days or scar tissue may form. There is a new type of pump on the market that can be calibrated with a sensor that you insert into your skin. It does continuous checking of your blood glucose levels throughout the day and night. But this requires an additional stick as well and the site has to be rotated as well. There's lots of options. Do you think this sounds like something you're up to? Or do you have other questions?"

"Well, what do you think Carlos? Do you think it sounds like a good idea?"

"Babe, I'll support anything you want to try. I think it sounds like the pump would be easier on you, but it sounds like a lot of responsibility on your part to make sure you coordinate your eating schedule. What does your instinct tell you to do?"

"I think I'd like to try it…but I'm scared. What if I mess up? Or can't stick myself?

Jeff spoke up. "We'll do whatever you decide, but don't let sticking yourself for the pump stop you. You're already sticking yourself, right? This is kind of the same thing. You can rotate sites to your stomach, legs, etc. Believe it or not, lots of children and even babies wear the pump. They make a tool or device that you load the cartridge in and it pops the small catheter under the skin. Or you can do it manually. We'll show you how to place the catheter before you go home, and of course Bobby can help you. But you'd be surprised how easy it is. Lots of kids do it themselves. Go home and search Youtube for insulin pump videos. Last time I looked, there was a 21 month old on there that watched Barney while her mom put the pump on. And she checked her own glucose levels!"

That seemed to boost Stephanie's confidence. "Ok, then. I think I'd like to try the pump. I don't too much mind the sticking of my finger, so maybe I could work up to the extra sensor stick that would calibrate with the pump. Can we start with small steps and just try the pump for now?"

"Sure. Let me get some paperwork squared away, and I'll be back in with some supplies. Bobby, come with me and I'll show you a couple of different options as far as pumps go. You'd be surprised at the advances they've made. I have a specific model in mind for Steph."

Jeff and Bobby left to go gather their supplies, so I took the opportunity to pull Steph in for a hug. "Babe, I'm so proud of you."

"Why's that Carlos?"

"Because you are taking control of this disease. You're already making choices that are going to ensure that you live a long and healthy life. I'm proud of you for being willing to do something that you are scared of and a little uncomfortable with."

"Thanks. I admit I'm scared, but it sounds like a good option for me. Don't you think?"

"Yea, Babe. I do. I really do."

Jeff and Bobby came back and had the supplies for Stephanie's pump. A nurse followed them in and took a moment to draw some blood for more blood work and also gave her the flu shot Jeff had recommended. Bobby and I had already had ours, but I made a mental note to make sure everyone at Rangeman had taken theirs as well. I didn't want to chance anyone making Steph sick. I knew I couldn't protect her from everything, but I wanted to protect her where I could.

Jeff laid out the supplies and when I looked at the pump I saw that it looked almost like a pager, and included a clip that Steph could clip onto her jeans while she was wearing it. It had clear tubing that attached to it and a small circle that had a port on it that would insert into Steph's skin. Jeff explained that once the port was in place, the needle would be removed and the thin flexible catheter would be all that remained to deliver the insulin. A continuous flow of insulin would be delivered, but Steph could bolus herself based on her readings and what she was eating. Jeff took his time, explaining again all of the things we'd learned in the nutrition class. He talked about how to adjust her insulin, and what things might affect her readings- like stress and sickness. He talked about how to give herself a bolus based on what she was eating, and explained that the pump would deliver insulin throughout the day as well. It was like a crash course in diabetes. He even told her that many women hid the pump in their bras or panties, depending upon their outfit. I knew it was a lot to take in, but Steph seemed to be paying attention. I tried to pay meticulous attention to detail as well, knowing that Steph was often times the type that had to 'digest' things before they settled in. I'd never been so thankful to have Bobby not only as a friend, but as an employee.

As Jeff finished up his instructions, he stood up and looked at Stephanie. "Ok Steph. Are you sure about this?"

"Yea. I mean yes, I think so. I think it's the best option for me right now. I say let's do it. It'll be easier than injecting myself several times a day. And I think it'll put me in better control of this disease. I want to control it- I don't want it to control me."

We all smiled at that, and right then, right there, I knew Stephanie would be okay. I knew that she was, as she would say, 'putting on her big girl panties' and dealing with this set back.

Jeff started getting supplies together. "Ok, I'm going to get you to pull your shirt up a little, and we'll let you attach the port."

"You mean I'm going to do it the first time?"

"Yep. No time like the present to learn."

"Ok, I guess I can. If you show me what to do."

I smiled at Bobby as Stephanie pulled up her t-shirt to reveal her waist. Jeff instructed her filling the pump and how to clean the area where she would wear the catheter with an alcohol prep pad. He then handed her the device that made insertion easier, helping her to load the device with the port, and within a few minutes, Stephanie had inserted it into her skin. The look on her face was priceless as Jeff patted her on the back. "Good job, Steph. That wasn't too bad, was it?"

"I did it. Oh my gosh! I can't believe I did it! That was amazing! It didn't really hurt at all."

Bobby replied with a "Good job Steph!" But I chose to show her how proud I was of her. I pulled her into my arms and kissed her quickly. "Babe I knew you could do it."

The doctor proceeded to show her how to set up the pump, and within minutes she was good to go. He clipped the pump onto her jeans as she pulled her shirt back down. "That's all there is to it?"

"Yep, that's it. Remember the site is good for three days. Then you'll need to change it and refill the pump. Remember to test every four hours during the day, and before meals. I'll be in touch with Bobby, but please call me with any questions or problems. Remember the device will tell you if the battery is low. This particular pump is one of the best on the market. I think you'll be very pleased with it."

"Thank you Jeff. I feel a little better about things now."

"No problem. Remember, you can still do whatever you want. Diabetes isn't a death sentence if you take care of yourself the right way."

Bobby and I shook Jeff's hand and Steph pulled him into a quick hug. We made our way out of the doctor's office after the nurse handed Steph prescriptions for more meds. I knew that Bobby would take care of filling them, so after a quick fist bump in the parking lot, we were on our way.

"Babe, what would you like to do for the rest of the day?"

"Well, I've got research to do on the FTA's I picked up this morning."

"Let's take the rest of the day off. Research can wait. What would you love to do? We need to go celebrate."

"Carlos, getting an insulin pump isn't exactly cause for celebration."

"Sure it is, Babe. It's one more step that you've taken in getting control of this disease. I say that's worth celebrating."

"Well, there is one thing I'd like to do."

"Ok, Babe. Name it."

"I'm not sure you'd want to do it."

"I'm up for anything, Babe. Name it."

"Well, I kind of feel like I'm on medical jargon overload. I mean, we spent almost two hours in Dr. Smith…er…Jeff's office. But I kind of feel like I'm on a roll. Didn't you say your abuela was a diabetic? I'd kind of…well…I'd like to meet her. Can we go by her house?"

I smiled as I pulled her hand to my lips and gently kissed them. "Of course, Babe. I called her last night and told her I'd be bringing you by. I just didn't want to push it on you. I wasn't sure you were ready. The past couple of days have been a lot to handle for you."

"I know. But I just thought that speaking to someone who's been diagnosed like me might help me get a handle on things. Will your sister be there?"

"Babe, I'm not sure but I could make a quick phone call."

"I don't want to inconvenience anyone. I was just hoping…."

"Babe, it's no trouble. Celia lives nearby. If she's not able to go to Abuela's we can stop by there as well. It's past time that you meet some of my family. They're going to love you."

"Are you sure Carlos? They may see me as a weirdo with a pager and tubing coming out of her side!"

"Babe, there's no way anyone would feel that way. Besides, the insulin pump isn't even noticeable. Don't worry. They're gonna love you-just like I do."

"I love you too Batman. Thanks for going with me today. I'm not sure I could have done it without you."

"Anytime Babe. I'm sure you could have done it alone, but you'll never have to try it since I'm going to be with you every step of the way. I promise. Now let's go see what Abuela has for dinner."


End file.
